L.A. Marathon Run Report

Dateline: LA Marathon --

Strategy: Conserve energy at LA for Catalina --

Results: At the last moment I elected to replace my ball-and-chain with a beast-of-burden. And heavens to murgatroit was he ever true to his calling. I harnessed the beast and we were off plodding along but only a little quicker then a full reverse. Ohhhh the agony of defeat, I didn’t even break a sweat all day, I ran so slow I could have walked the marathon faster. I pleaded, cajoled and bribed but the beast stayed true to being my burden. Mysteriously, he was unable or unwilling to see the beauty in my desire to gallup. I was left with no alternative but to trot into a convenience store and trot out with a paper bag over my head, incognito. I would have traded all the kings’ men for a better strategy than the one I had concocted. Baw-Humbug…Catalina is another day, I live for the moment and I had a million of them on my hands (and at my feet). I could have painted a Picasso on the way. The next time I come up with a hair-brained strategy like this one, I will take some yarn and needles so I have a nice sweater for grandma at the finish line.

My consolation and moment of glory came at mile 20, my beast-of-burden stopped at the water trough and turned towards the fiddler (bass player) at the circled wagons (stage). This was tantamount to the jailer forgetting the key in the door, it was my supreme opportunity, I dropped the reins and made my break. Free at last! Free at last! I thanked the cosmos I was free at last. Finally, I felt the wind on my face. My strategy was no longer my burden, or the beast.

Conclusion: I had a grand time and my hope is that 30,000 runners, especially you, can say the same. I enjoyed the coaching, beaches, trails, and most of all your company. I trust that we will meet again, if not, I wish you all the best of health, wealth, and happiness.

Out beyond good and bad is a trail, we will meet, rejoice, and run together there.

May your shoes always stay tied,